Well this week has been full of lots of new things...
It started off with Brittany and I trying to get rid of my roots and make my hair all blonde...but we ran out of bleach 3/4th's of the way through so for a day and a half I had a big brown spot on the top of my head. (It made for two hat days that was for sure) And then I bought more bleach and had my mother finish up...in a sense, it worked....I am very blonde, no...I am very white...except of course for the little streaks of orange and the little brown spot that didn't quite make it...there are old ladies that try very hard not to have the color hair that I have right now...
I am contemplating just shaving it all off and starting over...
Anyway moving on
I decided I needed a new color...got a problem with it? too bad
So thursday I tagged along with Brittany and her mom to get Brit all moved in and make sure her host family is nice and everything.
Got started on my 24/7 work out by carrying all her stuff up and down and up and down the stairs at her new house.
I helped her get her room all situated and organized.
Then we took her to Wal-Mart one last time and got her a bunch of stuff then brought her back and said our goodbyes.
It was sad but I don't think it has really hit me yet. I know it will be harder being here at home for almost a week alone but I'll live.
The ride back home with her parents was good. They crack me up how much they fight its hilarious and its about the stupidest things its great.
I don't think I've ever envied anyone so much for something before as I do what Brittany has with her parents. I never noticed the little things before that just come as a shock to me.
All their kids can be so open with them, we're in the car and Brittany tells her mom all about whats going on with Adam as if she were talking to me or another one of her girl friends.
On the way home Bethany txts her mom all about a guy she has a crush on and everything that's going on with that and asking her what she should do.
The complete and total honesty is so foreign to me. It's like I never really knew what I was missing. And just listening to her parents talk in the car talk about their kids, how much they love them and respect them and understand them and trust them to make their own decisions just blows me away.
Heck they even threw me a birthday party! And I'm not even their daughter!
I never completely knew what I was missing.
That family is everything I wish I had but never knew I wanted...
There's a part of me that's scared that I'll be the same kind of parent as mine...
That's how I was raised, that's what I saw, what if I end up doing the same thing?
I know I'll learn from their mistakes and everything but that fear is still there in the back of my mind...
What if I try so hard to not be like my parents that I end up being worse?
What if my kids end up resenting, hating, and lying to me their whole lives?
I know I have a long time before I have to worry about any of that..I guess this week has just kinda pushed all those thoughts to the front of my mind...I guess there's nothing I can do about it now. No point in worrying about it right?
On a different note I heard from my host home person. She's a single lady, never been married, no kids. She sounds like she's in her late 20's which surprised me. We talked on the phone for a little while and she sounds really nice so that is good. One major worry to mark off the list. I should probably start packing.
My list of things I need to do this week:
Take back my guitar case and get one that fits.
Buy more guitar picks
Run
Go through all my crap and pack the stuff I need and put away all the stuff I don't.
Make as much money as I can babysitting when I have a spare hour or two.
Run Run
Figure out something to do to my hair that will make it not so hideous
Wash all of my clothes.
Finish reading Breaking Dawn.
Run Run Run.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Step up....Step down
Hey blogger peeps, it's been a while. A lot has happened since I updated last, I'll try and catch you up.
Let's see...I got to jump into a pond and be with Brittany during her first pond experience. It was pretty exciting. I also had my first zip line experience and decided that someday before I die I will own and pond and zip line.
We also found what Garrett and Sarah would look like as potato heads.
Then I got to go with Brittany and her grandparents to Oklahoma for her cousin's softball tournament. It was really hot and I got a wonderful tan line on my shoulder...only one of my shoulders...and a pretty great little tan on one of my legs too. We had a good time though, her cousin's team won both of the games we got to see so that was cool, and then we got to tour the beauty that is Oklahoma. We went museum hopping, first hitting up the Oklahoma bombing museum.
It was really cool.
The grounds were beautiful.
We even snuck a picture inside and almost got caught by one of the tour ladies. It was a close one.
I think I'm really getting old cuz I actually enjoyed this museum. I must finally be maturing.
Yep totally maturing lol aren't we the sexiest fire fighter and police officer you've ever seen?
We even got grandma and grandpa and uncle charlie in on it. Then we went and ate at sonic and it was an actual go in and sit down sonic. It was pretty exciting.
Then at the hotel Brittany and I found a step
with a helpful reminder. I never knew this
but apparently Oklahomans don't know
how to walk up stairs without specific
instructions.
All in all it was a great trip. I had a blast.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
I want to give up...
I can't do this anymore God
You're asking too much of me
I want to run away and never come back
I want to forget about all the things I'm supposed to do to be a perfect little Christian and just get out of here.
And why does that stupid little voice keep coming back
I thought I was done with that
Why
Why
Why
Why does it have to be so hard?
Why does it seem easier for some people?
It would be so so easy to just go back to the way I used to be.
What am I doing wrong?
Am I going crazy?
Who can I trust?
Who is it that has the right answers because everyone seems to have their own and they're all different so who is right and how the heck am I supposed to know who to listen to and who not to listen to?
Why can't you just be clear with all the rules?
Why does it have to be a guessing game?
Why am I so lost?
Why do I want to give up and go back to the way things used to be?
Why can I respect and listen to anyone in the entire world except the people I'm supposed to respect and listen to the most?
I hate them
I resent them
I'm not supposed to but I do
And for some reason I can't tell them that
I still lie and tell them what they want to hear
They think I stopped lying but in reality I've just gotten better at it.
Why does it feel like your a million miles away?
Where are you?
I need you....
You're asking too much of me
I want to run away and never come back
I want to forget about all the things I'm supposed to do to be a perfect little Christian and just get out of here.
And why does that stupid little voice keep coming back
I thought I was done with that
Why
Why
Why
Why does it have to be so hard?
Why does it seem easier for some people?
It would be so so easy to just go back to the way I used to be.
What am I doing wrong?
Am I going crazy?
Who can I trust?
Who is it that has the right answers because everyone seems to have their own and they're all different so who is right and how the heck am I supposed to know who to listen to and who not to listen to?
Why can't you just be clear with all the rules?
Why does it have to be a guessing game?
Why am I so lost?
Why do I want to give up and go back to the way things used to be?
Why can I respect and listen to anyone in the entire world except the people I'm supposed to respect and listen to the most?
I hate them
I resent them
I'm not supposed to but I do
And for some reason I can't tell them that
I still lie and tell them what they want to hear
They think I stopped lying but in reality I've just gotten better at it.
Why does it feel like your a million miles away?
Where are you?
I need you....
Friday, July 25, 2008
The tragic shower story...and...The wonderful awkwardness that is my life.
Hey bloggers,
So today I had a very tragic accident...
I was taking a shower and suddenly the little soap/shaver holder thing lept off the wall and tried to attack my foot. Scary I know. My foot is ok though, the shower wall on the other hand...wasn't so lucky. But I've been told to put tape over the hole in the wall and forget about it. But I mean, how tacky is that? And how am I supposed to live without a place to put my razor?? But on the bright side there were no injuries involved so we're all good. Except for the poor wall that is now naked...
On another note my evening has been pretty interesting. So my dad asked me to go eat dinner and or go see a movie with him which isn't always the highlight of my life but oh well. So I do and we go eat at Petra which was really good, Julian was there working and gave us free desert which I really did not need but was delicious. And then we went to wal mart and rented a movie from that big red box thing. The Jane Austen book club.
Let me just say that this is probably the awkwardest thing I've done in months, and yes I just said awkwardest, it's hilarious and yet very uncomfortable. In this movie there is a girl that is a lesbian, a teacher girl who is married and falls for one of her highschool students, a guy that cheats on his wife and a girl who doesn't want to get married and a few others and they all get together and have a book club and talk about all the Jane Austen novels. The funniest part was how often the topic of sex came up in their discussions and how uncomfortable it made the mood in the room I was sitting in. There were huffy breaths coming from all over I was surrounded. All in all the movie ended well and I think I actually liked it. However I think I will have to watch it again without my parents and the unavoidable awkwardness that follows them everywhere and see if I really like it or not.
Well now the movie is over. I can feel their disgust at the movie we just watched its hilarious. This has been a very interesting night. I kinda feel like reading a trashy romance novel and I don't know why. Well the family has turned on bugs bunny cartoons and that would be my cue to go back upstairs. So for now that's all folks.
So today I had a very tragic accident...
I was taking a shower and suddenly the little soap/shaver holder thing lept off the wall and tried to attack my foot. Scary I know. My foot is ok though, the shower wall on the other hand...wasn't so lucky. But I've been told to put tape over the hole in the wall and forget about it. But I mean, how tacky is that? And how am I supposed to live without a place to put my razor?? But on the bright side there were no injuries involved so we're all good. Except for the poor wall that is now naked...
On another note my evening has been pretty interesting. So my dad asked me to go eat dinner and or go see a movie with him which isn't always the highlight of my life but oh well. So I do and we go eat at Petra which was really good, Julian was there working and gave us free desert which I really did not need but was delicious. And then we went to wal mart and rented a movie from that big red box thing. The Jane Austen book club.
Let me just say that this is probably the awkwardest thing I've done in months, and yes I just said awkwardest, it's hilarious and yet very uncomfortable. In this movie there is a girl that is a lesbian, a teacher girl who is married and falls for one of her highschool students, a guy that cheats on his wife and a girl who doesn't want to get married and a few others and they all get together and have a book club and talk about all the Jane Austen novels. The funniest part was how often the topic of sex came up in their discussions and how uncomfortable it made the mood in the room I was sitting in. There were huffy breaths coming from all over I was surrounded. All in all the movie ended well and I think I actually liked it. However I think I will have to watch it again without my parents and the unavoidable awkwardness that follows them everywhere and see if I really like it or not.
Well now the movie is over. I can feel their disgust at the movie we just watched its hilarious. This has been a very interesting night. I kinda feel like reading a trashy romance novel and I don't know why. Well the family has turned on bugs bunny cartoons and that would be my cue to go back upstairs. So for now that's all folks.
Friday, July 11, 2008
Texas laws are evil...
Sorry for the lack of blog postings lately. I really just havent had anything interesting enough to talk about. Until now that is.
So this week I've been trying to get the rest of the stuff done for my ticket that I got forever ago. I had done everything but go to the DPS (which by the way stands for the Department of Public Stupidity or also known as the DMV, the Department of Money Vultures) to take a driving test. So I go to the McKinney DPS to take it and I wait an hour only to find out that you can only take it in the morning. So my mom and I look up all the rules and all the things you have to do for that and find out that you have to show up to the place at least an hour before it opens and wait at the door in line till they open and let you in to get an appointment to take your test later in the day....
So mom looked up where else they have DPS's not wanting me to wait in line for an hour with all the ghetto people of downtown McKinney all by myself, and finds one in Plano. So Thursday I get up at 5 45 in the morning (before God and all things holy even think about getting up) and I drive to Plano, get there at 6 30 and theres a good 20 people already there in line. So I sit down and join them thinking ok whatever at least I'll have people to talk to while I wait. Wrong. I was one of two white people out of the 20 in line and everyone else was speaking their own strange language. So I waited in silence for an hour and a half until I got my appointment to take my driving test an hour and a half later.
I wait
And wait
And wait
Finally I get to do it. But of course I get stuck with the mean black lady instructor person instead of the nice old man. I'm not racist I swear.
The first thing I have to do is parallel park. Not a big deal, I'm a good parallel parker. Wrong. Apparently on Thursday mornings I am a terrible parallel parker and I fail. The mean lady tells me I can come back tomorrow. (Yay I get to get up at 5 45 again in the morning.
So this morning I do the whole thing all over again ready for everything. Oh and Fridays the DPS opens at 8 instead of 7 30. So I decide to get there at the same time as yesterday anyway so I can be closer to the front of the line. Wrong. I get there at 6 30 again (an hour and a half before the place opens) and guess what. There like 25 people already there waiting.
But today I came prepared for the long wait and brought my Bible like a good little Christian girl.
Finally they open. I get my appointment to take my test again and I go and practice parallel parking like 20 times and then get in line.
Luck is finally with me! I get the nice old man!
He recognizes me from yesterday and asks what happened and why I'm back. I tell him and he gets in the car and we start the test. At this point I'm so nervous I'm about to pee my pants. But....I passed!!!
And then it was a long process of getting all the paperwork worked out and paying 10 bucks to get a new drivers license that I really don't need with a new picture that will be even worse than the one I had before (remember this is all happening before 10 AM)
To make an already very long story short. I finished everything I needed for my ticket and as soon as we get back from Desperation I will be a free woman!
Now my busy weekend is starting. I won't even go into everything that is going on this weekend because if I did by the time I finished the weekend would be over. Thank you for reading and have a good day.
So this week I've been trying to get the rest of the stuff done for my ticket that I got forever ago. I had done everything but go to the DPS (which by the way stands for the Department of Public Stupidity or also known as the DMV, the Department of Money Vultures) to take a driving test. So I go to the McKinney DPS to take it and I wait an hour only to find out that you can only take it in the morning. So my mom and I look up all the rules and all the things you have to do for that and find out that you have to show up to the place at least an hour before it opens and wait at the door in line till they open and let you in to get an appointment to take your test later in the day....
So mom looked up where else they have DPS's not wanting me to wait in line for an hour with all the ghetto people of downtown McKinney all by myself, and finds one in Plano. So Thursday I get up at 5 45 in the morning (before God and all things holy even think about getting up) and I drive to Plano, get there at 6 30 and theres a good 20 people already there in line. So I sit down and join them thinking ok whatever at least I'll have people to talk to while I wait. Wrong. I was one of two white people out of the 20 in line and everyone else was speaking their own strange language. So I waited in silence for an hour and a half until I got my appointment to take my driving test an hour and a half later.
I wait
And wait
And wait
Finally I get to do it. But of course I get stuck with the mean black lady instructor person instead of the nice old man. I'm not racist I swear.
The first thing I have to do is parallel park. Not a big deal, I'm a good parallel parker. Wrong. Apparently on Thursday mornings I am a terrible parallel parker and I fail. The mean lady tells me I can come back tomorrow. (Yay I get to get up at 5 45 again in the morning.
So this morning I do the whole thing all over again ready for everything. Oh and Fridays the DPS opens at 8 instead of 7 30. So I decide to get there at the same time as yesterday anyway so I can be closer to the front of the line. Wrong. I get there at 6 30 again (an hour and a half before the place opens) and guess what. There like 25 people already there waiting.
But today I came prepared for the long wait and brought my Bible like a good little Christian girl.
Finally they open. I get my appointment to take my test again and I go and practice parallel parking like 20 times and then get in line.
Luck is finally with me! I get the nice old man!
He recognizes me from yesterday and asks what happened and why I'm back. I tell him and he gets in the car and we start the test. At this point I'm so nervous I'm about to pee my pants. But....I passed!!!
And then it was a long process of getting all the paperwork worked out and paying 10 bucks to get a new drivers license that I really don't need with a new picture that will be even worse than the one I had before (remember this is all happening before 10 AM)
To make an already very long story short. I finished everything I needed for my ticket and as soon as we get back from Desperation I will be a free woman!
Now my busy weekend is starting. I won't even go into everything that is going on this weekend because if I did by the time I finished the weekend would be over. Thank you for reading and have a good day.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Happy Tuesday
Hey bloggers
I don't really have much of interest to say but I was in the mood to post a blog so sorry about the boringness.
So yesterday was pretty uneventful and consisted of watching movies with my mom and boredom, and then babysitting the Chesneys. Then this morning I got up and went to work out. Something I havent done in a very very long time. And now I am back at the Padilla's and I just finished washing the dishes and cleaning up a little from the crazy party I had here the other night. I hope they won't notice all the alcohol missing:-/
Well the lady I'm supposed to be working for while Brittany is out of town called me again last night and said she won't need me today either. So I think today I will lay out and get tan. Oh and then tomorrow I'm getting my hair colored again. Yay for no more roots!
I apologize for the boringness of this blog. I will shut up now.
I don't really have much of interest to say but I was in the mood to post a blog so sorry about the boringness.
So yesterday was pretty uneventful and consisted of watching movies with my mom and boredom, and then babysitting the Chesneys. Then this morning I got up and went to work out. Something I havent done in a very very long time. And now I am back at the Padilla's and I just finished washing the dishes and cleaning up a little from the crazy party I had here the other night. I hope they won't notice all the alcohol missing:-/
Well the lady I'm supposed to be working for while Brittany is out of town called me again last night and said she won't need me today either. So I think today I will lay out and get tan. Oh and then tomorrow I'm getting my hair colored again. Yay for no more roots!
I apologize for the boringness of this blog. I will shut up now.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Good morning
So the garage sale went pretty well. We made more than we were expecting to which was good but we still had sooooo much crap left over that we're giving to good will and we get to box and bag that all up today after church, woohoo.
Last night I babysat from 6 to 1 30 in the morning and made 85 bucks so that was exciting, we watched shrek 3 and ice age and played wii fitness, I am still sore from that by the way. And then the kids went to bed and I played guitar hero for like 2 and a half hours lol. And then I came back to the Padilla's to sleep cuz I'm house sitting. That was the first time I've ever stayed in a house all by myself so it was a little bit scary. Really the only thing that was really scary was the fan in Brittany's room was on and so every little sound from the fan or from something blowing around sounded like a person coming into the room. But once I fell asleep it was fine lol I would never want to live alone though its way too quiet.
Well I better get going to church. The youth band *minus Brittany, Kenzie, and I* is playing in big church this weekend, so that should be pretty interesting.
Later yo
Last night I babysat from 6 to 1 30 in the morning and made 85 bucks so that was exciting, we watched shrek 3 and ice age and played wii fitness, I am still sore from that by the way. And then the kids went to bed and I played guitar hero for like 2 and a half hours lol. And then I came back to the Padilla's to sleep cuz I'm house sitting. That was the first time I've ever stayed in a house all by myself so it was a little bit scary. Really the only thing that was really scary was the fan in Brittany's room was on and so every little sound from the fan or from something blowing around sounded like a person coming into the room. But once I fell asleep it was fine lol I would never want to live alone though its way too quiet.
Well I better get going to church. The youth band *minus Brittany, Kenzie, and I* is playing in big church this weekend, so that should be pretty interesting.
Later yo
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