The Greatness of Our God

I feel like God has been showing me so much the past couple of months that my mind could explode.

First of all, I discovered that one of the main reasons I have a bad day or just plain am in a really bad mood is when I am in the flesh; when my focus is all on me.

As soon as I get the focus off of myself it's like a whole new world!

A couple of months ago a good friend of mine asked me to be her intercessor this year.

At this point in time I was experiencing a very dry season with God and couldn't figure out why I wasn't passionate about reading the Bible or spending time with God. (something I usually desire everyday) So I started to pray for her everyday. That was the beginning of my revelation.

I'm not the best at praying for people. I've always wished I could be one of those great prayer warriors that can pray for hours and hours and it's their prayers that kept someone alive or something like that. But I've never been able to do it consistently. I will get bored 5 min into prayer or run out of things to say or fall asleep. But I was determined to keep my promise to pray for her every day.

I knew it was going to take trying something I hadn't done before if it was really going to happen.

So I started reading scripture out loud over her, changing the tense or a few words here and there to make it apply to her. And I would just go through a book of the Bible picking out verses and praying them (out loud) over her.

As I prayed scripture over her every morning, I began to get more and more passionate about spending time with God. I started to be in a much better mood most days. And I started to become more and more passionate about intercession and learning all I can about what exactly it means.

So I started reading a book called Intercessory Prayer and it has been rocking my world.

I really wish I could explain the change that has taken place in me and in my relationship with God. He feels more real to me now than He ever has before. And the funny thing is, I have hardly prayed for myself at all in the last 2 months. The more I pray for other people, the closer I feel to God. It doesn't make any sense to my brain at all but it's true.

My God time used to be all about me reading the Bible for me and praying for me and what I can get from God and what God can reveal to me.

And theres nothing wrong with having times of that. I think that there are definitely seasons where we need a touch from God and we have to cry out to Him for ourselves before we can fight for anyone else.

But for me, it was time to go deeper, and having God time every morning for myself wasn't cutting it.

I think that if we will just get the focus off of ourselves and fight for the people around us, God will take care of us.

This is the first of many revelations I will try to share...

Hi My Name Is ZuZu And...I'm Addicted to Music and Caffeine

Why are all addictions so expensive?!

Yes, I admit it, I'm addicted to music and caffeine...

I'm currently getting a hold of my mountain dew addiction. It's been 4 days since my last sip of sweet nectar from heaven...

Coffee has been limited.

Music....oh music...

Some girls go crazy about shoes

Some go crazy about purses or other accessories

For me it's music.

I have to have music.

And it's not enough for me to just listen to it online.

I need to own it and have it on my computer for use any time and place on any device.

The problem:

This costs money. And as my parents have always tried to tell me, money doesn't grow on trees.

In conclusion, I need to either marry a very rich man or have a very rich relative die and leave me a hefty inheritance.

The future can be scary or exciting...Or BOTH!

It's been almost a year since I wrote on here last...

So much has happened in one year.

I've been thinking about the future a lot. Which makes sense seeing as this chapter of my life is quickly coming to an end.

I've been thinking about where I could end up, what I could be doing, who I could be meeting. Some days I get excited thinking about it. Some days I'm so scared I could pee my pants.

I know God is going to do something big. But I also know that it won't be anything like what I think it will look like. He's already started opening doors I never thought or dreamed of going through.

It's humbling. Knowing that I can think of about 30 people off the top of my head that are more qualified and deserve more to do what I want to do and might get to do.

But the funny thing is that God likes to choose the least likely person to do something huge. That's what scares me. Because I know that I'm not qualified at all and it would have to be God.

It's just crazy enough to be His plan...

Someone once said, "the path to your greatest potential is often straight through your greatest fear."

God's ways are not our ways...

It's humbling...

Change happens

There is no growth without change; there is no change without fear or loss; and there is no loss without pain. Every change involves a loss of some kind: You must let go of old ways in order to experience the new. We fear these losses, even if our old ways were self-defeating, because, like a worn out pair of shoes, they were at least comfortable and familiar.

Adam Roth posted this as his status on facebook a while back and I saved it and just found it again tonight.

I am so not good at change.

But this makes sense to me why I don't like it. It's why growing up and going into new seasons of life is so hard for me. I'm not a fan of loss or pain or new things.

I will wear a pair of shoes until they disintegrate into nothing because they are comfortable and familiar and easier than finding a new pair and having to get used to them and make them work with my outfits.

I kind of feel like it's time to throw away all the old shoes and get new ones. Not just settling for the old shoes or even being barefoot because it's easier.

Can I just tell you about my crazy day?

So my day started at about 5:15 AM when I quickly got dressed, brushed my teeth and de-iced my car to be at the gym for a spin class. [6:00AM]

That lasted 1 hour. [7:00 AM]

Then biked 3 more hours after that. [10:00AM]

Then had to do 15s, which if you have never heard of them consider yourself lucky. I can honestly say I think I would rather jump out of a second story building than do them. (you feel about the same after both)

Then there were push ups and core.

Then the pool opened and it was time to swim. [11:00AM]

Done swimming and ready to shower up and get ready for the day. [12:00PM]

Took my time getting ready (I could barely move and didn't really have anywhere to be)

Left the gym for a little pick me up at Starbucks [1:15PM]

Had my first coffee in 22 days (it was the most amazing thing i've put in my mouth in a long time)

Called my mother cuz I missed her and wanted advice on whether to go to Wendy's or Sonic for lunch. (I call her for all major life decisions like that)

The decision was Sonic. Got food. It was amazing. [1:45PM]

Then I proceeded to run errands driving all over town that included: bike shopping, shirt shopping, leggings shopping, picking up my mountain bike from my ex homesponsor's house, and then looking for a place to do homework.

[5:15PM]

The Brewery is closed...

There is nowhere else to go so I decided to go home.

Get to the church and see people still in Little Life from closing up Little Life Academy. I get them to let me in. [5:30PM]

They all leave and I'm sitting in Kid Life all alone in the dark. [5:40PM]

Mrs Duvall pulls up by the Kid Life door and is slightly frightened (as anyone would be) when she opens the door and sees a person sitting on the floor in the darkness of an empty church.

I explain what I'm doing there in the shortest way possible and we small talk it up for a couple min and then I remember that there is a couch in the Kid Life room. Score!

I lay down with my Mac plugged in, background music playing, about to take a nap and in walks a person saying that they are about to have a meeting in this room....[6:05PM]

Covering my complete and utter distraught-ness I pack up my stuff and look for another room that is unlocked with a couch. [6:10PM]

To my delight the doors to the rest of the church have been unlocked and the living room is empty!

And here I am, on the couch in the living room. It's so comfortable and my legs have now lost all feeling. I might not be able to get up, not gonna lie.

Well that was my day. If you actually read all of that I feel sorry for you that you just wasted the last 5 min of your life and question whether or not you have one. (You should probably get out more)

Sorry if my sarcasm has offended you in any way. It's a day that requires sarcasm to keep the sanity. My day is not even over yet. On to Little Rock in an hour or so! More adventures to come I'm sure.

Peace. Thanks for listening.

Determined

Well Christmas break is officially over and second semester is officially starting. I see this semester as a fresh start. A clean slate, new beginning. A chance to finish stronger than I started. I'm excited. I'm ready.

I'm determined for this last half of my second year in 24/7 to be different than the first. I'm determined to be different. I will be a better Core to my first year, I will be a better friend, I will be a better child to my Father, I will make the most of this season of my life, I will have a better attitude about things, I will be more confident. Call it a new years resolution...I call it the way I should have lived before.

Can I just flip a switch and believe please?

Ughhh...

Do you ever look at the way you're acting and get really frustrated at yourself?

Because you know something in your head but for some reason you don't really truly believe it...

why is that?

Why do we have such a hard time fully grasping certain things and believing them with our entire being?

We can know them to be true but it is just knowledge.

Knowing and believing are two very very different things.

So here's a question that has been haunting me for 9 months...

How do you make yourself believe?

You know in your head that something is true, and by this point you've realized that no matter how many times you tell yourself you believe you really don't believe it deep down...

So how do you make yourself believe?

You want to believe it's true with everything in you, but you just have zero faith in the promise.

There is no reason for you to doubt and you know this.

You serve a God who can do ANYTHING, and you know this.

So the fact that you doubt this promise is kind of a contradiction in what you believe about your God if you really think about it.

Because if you REALLY believed that your God can do anything there would be no doubt in your mind that this could happen right?

So why do you doubt?

...Why do I doubt?

If you're reading this and are totally confused and have no idea what I'm talking about, don't worry. These are just the ramblings of an over thinker.