Well this week has been full of lots of new things...
It started off with Brittany and I trying to get rid of my roots and make my hair all blonde...but we ran out of bleach 3/4th's of the way through so for a day and a half I had a big brown spot on the top of my head. (It made for two hat days that was for sure) And then I bought more bleach and had my mother finish up...in a sense, it worked....I am very blonde, no...I am very white...except of course for the little streaks of orange and the little brown spot that didn't quite make it...there are old ladies that try very hard not to have the color hair that I have right now...
I am contemplating just shaving it all off and starting over...
Anyway moving on
I decided I needed a new color...got a problem with it? too bad
So thursday I tagged along with Brittany and her mom to get Brit all moved in and make sure her host family is nice and everything.
Got started on my 24/7 work out by carrying all her stuff up and down and up and down the stairs at her new house.
I helped her get her room all situated and organized.
Then we took her to Wal-Mart one last time and got her a bunch of stuff then brought her back and said our goodbyes.
It was sad but I don't think it has really hit me yet. I know it will be harder being here at home for almost a week alone but I'll live.
The ride back home with her parents was good. They crack me up how much they fight its hilarious and its about the stupidest things its great.
I don't think I've ever envied anyone so much for something before as I do what Brittany has with her parents. I never noticed the little things before that just come as a shock to me.
All their kids can be so open with them, we're in the car and Brittany tells her mom all about whats going on with Adam as if she were talking to me or another one of her girl friends.
On the way home Bethany txts her mom all about a guy she has a crush on and everything that's going on with that and asking her what she should do.
The complete and total honesty is so foreign to me. It's like I never really knew what I was missing. And just listening to her parents talk in the car talk about their kids, how much they love them and respect them and understand them and trust them to make their own decisions just blows me away.
Heck they even threw me a birthday party! And I'm not even their daughter!
I never completely knew what I was missing.
That family is everything I wish I had but never knew I wanted...
There's a part of me that's scared that I'll be the same kind of parent as mine...
That's how I was raised, that's what I saw, what if I end up doing the same thing?
I know I'll learn from their mistakes and everything but that fear is still there in the back of my mind...
What if I try so hard to not be like my parents that I end up being worse?
What if my kids end up resenting, hating, and lying to me their whole lives?
I know I have a long time before I have to worry about any of that..I guess this week has just kinda pushed all those thoughts to the front of my mind...I guess there's nothing I can do about it now. No point in worrying about it right?
On a different note I heard from my host home person. She's a single lady, never been married, no kids. She sounds like she's in her late 20's which surprised me. We talked on the phone for a little while and she sounds really nice so that is good. One major worry to mark off the list. I should probably start packing.
My list of things I need to do this week:
Take back my guitar case and get one that fits.
Buy more guitar picks
Run
Go through all my crap and pack the stuff I need and put away all the stuff I don't.
Make as much money as I can babysitting when I have a spare hour or two.
Run Run
Figure out something to do to my hair that will make it not so hideous
Wash all of my clothes.
Finish reading Breaking Dawn.
Run Run Run.
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