Wednesday, May 7, 2008

It's a new day...

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Just One of Those Days....

Hi blogger people...
Let me just warn you in advance that this next post will not be a happy one as I am not in the best of moods...so if you are in a good mood and don't want to spoil it I recommend you stop reading now...

So you know how every now and then you just have one of those days where all the little things that have bothered you over the last, however long its been since you've had a breakdown, finally pile up and it only takes one more little thing to go wrong and you totally lose it? Ya so today was that day for me...

I am trying so hard not to be mad and have a bad attitude about my jaw and the fact that I will have to deal with these killer head aches and excruciating jaw pain and popping the rest of my life...But it's so freaking frustrating when you're hungry (and you eat as much and as often as I do) and you can't think of anything to eat that won't hurt your jaw because just opening your jaw and closing it hurts. And it's really depressing to know that even if I went through surgery to fix it, it wouldn't be totally fixed and would be even more painful than what I'm going through now...And it's even more frustrating to know that I am being stupid for getting so worked up about something so small when there are people in the world that are suffering from things like cancer and other life threatening problems and I'm sitting here complaining about head aches and jaw popping.

I keep wondering if God is trying to teach me some kind of lesson through this or something...if so I wanna hurry up and learn it cuz this freaking sucks!!! On top of that I have continued with my track record of failing to do anything right, ever....I know I need to be praising God through this even though I don't feel like it but it's so hard to keep from letting everything get me down and depressed, cuz one thing will go bad and then all I can think about is all the things in my life that suck and drive me insane...
my crazy annoyingly hypocritical parents
my stupid ticket and everything I hafta do for that
my stupid speeding problem that not only gets me screwed but everyone else in the world too
my ghetto rental car that doesn't have cruise control
my jaw that will hurt and pop for the rest of my life (my husband is going to have to really really love me to deal with all the popping my jaw does and not be totally annoyed as well as turned off)
and then of course there is the ever present question of what am I going to do after highschool....

I am so sick of life and all its stupid little problems! I'm sick of not being able to do anything right!

I need you Jesus to come to my rescue
Where else can I go?
There's no other name by which I am saved
Capture me with grace
I will follow you.


Hey blogger peeps
So I really should be either doing homework or sleeping but seeing as to I am on the computer right now, that is just not going to happen so I think I will post a quick blog.

Well I got my cartilage pierced today...FINALLY. FINALLY turned 18 so that I can FINALLY get it done legally and without getting in huge trouble from my parents. I get home and talk to my parents for a good 20 minutes....they don't even notice. Heck why did I not do this months ago? I just keep telling myself that I did the right thing and should be happy about it....but I'm gonna be honest doing the right thing and being a good person kinda sucks sometimes cuz here I am finally 18 and legal and can't even get my stinking belly button pierced cuz it is the summer...sad day....Why couldn't my parents have had me in the freaking winter?!

Ok enough ranting...On another note I am 2 weeks away from being completely and totally 100% done with highschool *commence cheering* So I am excited about that. Just pray that I live through those 2 weeks as they will be very very very very busy and hecktick (is that how you spell that??) and crazy and full of no sleep.

Well my hardcore pain in the butt jaw meds are kicking are kicking in now and I am falling asleep on the keyboard so I will be leaving now. Good night blogger people.