Dude its been forever!

Well I went back and forth trying to decide if I wanted to post on here or me and Brittany's website and I decided I didn't feel like making it PG for all the church people so I decided to post on here. Don't know if I have anything to say that would be PG-13 but it makes me feel better to know they won't be reading it sometimes.





Anyway, So much has happened in the last month of being here at 24/7 its insane. We've been ropes coursing to cave spelunking to repelling to fasting for 3 days with only water. It's been crazy awesome. I've learned so much and grown so much it's insane. They say every year at 24/7 you age 5 to 10 years in maturity, I know why now. I wish I had time to go through and talk about everything but that would take a very long time and I only have about 30 more min of time left.





So here I sit at Starbucks drinking my amazingly delicious java chip frap (with xtra expresso of course) that was paid for with a starbucks gift card I got in the mail from the wonderful mrs Thacker. I love her. So I'm sitting here chillin at starbucks stealing some internet from somwhere and catching up on email and other internet usage. Every time I get time off I feel so rushed and scatter brained cuz I know I have so much I need to do and so little time to do it. Anyway I honestly have no idea where this paragraph was going but I don't think I got there so I think I will start a new one.





K let's try this again. I just got back from our fasting retreat. I started off the week expecting God to do some big things but I had no idea what He had planned to do in me. First off we hiked with everything we packed (for me it was my big hiking pack plus my reg back pack that I carried on my front) We hiked through the trails on some mountain. (I never know where we are so its just some mountain) We hiked from 11am to about 5 30pm with no lunch break. We had a few water breaks in there that lasted about 5 to 10 min but we weren't encouraged to sit down on account of we probably won't be able to get back up. Then we get to this really cool place with a water fall and a pond thing and we have some worship. It was absolutely beautiful. Take a look, my camera didn't do it justice though.











I'm told that the main hike through the woods and stuff was about 12 miles. We finished that and I was feeling pretty good. Wasn't too tired or sore, was incredible sweaty but wasn't too tired. Then there was the oh so fun hike to where we were staying. We all walked two by two along the side of the road for a really really long time...That's where I started feeling not so great about the trip. I started to get my infamously wonderful attitude that comes out when I have to do something I don't want to do (sarcasm)





So we're hiking, and hiking, and hiking...with no clue when or if we ever get to stop (still carrying everything we packed for 3 days) I can't feel my legs or feet and my shoulders hurt and all I've eaten is some beef jerky and a pack of crackers....I'm pissed. I gradually got a little better of an attitude as my legs became more and more numb and I felt less and less but I still was not a happy camper.





Then we get to the house that we're staying at and me and the 12 other girls staying in this little house all get showered and meet at the meeting house and we have our last dinner (which was incredible) After we eat we're told the fast starts at 8 30pm. So after we're dismissed we all go back to our houses we're staying at and hang out and then go to bed. Next morning, wake up, I dreamed that we woke up to this amazing hot breakfast and then I remember...We're fasting...no breakfast, no lunch, no dinner...for who knows how long because we don't get told anything..oh and we have to keep up our push ups and sit ups so we don't get out of shape...My attitude comes back.
So we go meet and have worship, then are told that today we're going to have quiet time for a while... (cool I like quiet time) ...for 8 hours...(excuse me?) ...yep 8 hours...
So I'm laying in the grass reading my Bible and guess what the first thing I read is..."Do everything without complaining or arguing so that you may become pure and blameless children of God."
(Ouch...Ok God you have my attention)
I keep reading and my attitude towards the whole thing disappears, suddenly I'm reading and I don't even realize that hours are going by. Then God and I have a heart to heart and I realize this very important concept....It's not about me...wow...
I read the entire book of Matthew in one sitting. (If you know me at all that just doesnt ever happen, do you know how many chapters are in that book??) The next few hours flew by and by the time we had to be back at the meeting house I didn't want to go, I wanted to keep reading. I got so much out of reading the Bible in that time than I have in my entire life.
Have you even though about, like really really thought about the fact that Jesus turned a few pieces of bread and fish and fed 5000 men?? That's just men, that's not counting the women and children! Like WOW! Dude I can't even tell you how many times I've read that story or heard it preached but dude! That's a freakin ton of people! And there was still a bunch leftover! Dude!

So ya that was a revelation. Also I read the part where Peter walks on the water and I realized something...again I've read and heard this story 50 million times but I realized something new. (that's the cool thing about the Bible, you can read the same thing 50 times and get something different out of it every time) Peter was walking on the water towards Jesus and was doing great and then he took one look down, one look at the waves, at the storm, and he sank. That's all it took was one look. One look away from Jesus and he sank. How many times am I doing great, walking on water for Jesus and I take one look at what I'm doing. One thought about the work outs and how much it hurts, one thought about how unfair it is that us first years never get to know anything, one complaint, and BAM! I sink. That's all it takes is one look away. We have to stay focused on Jesus or we are going to sink.

I got so much more out of this week but I'm going to have to post another post later because I must leave starbucks and go to church now.

So...
To be continued....

Brittanyless Texas

Not really, I am wearing underwear I promise. It's really cute underwear too:-)


So I've decided that Prosper TX without Brittany is pretty boring and stupid and I don't understand how anyone (myself included) ever lived here before she came.





So this is all that has happened since my last post in Brittany-less Texas.





I've been running, trying to get in shape for my Christian boot camp I'm about to go to for 10 months. I used to be in a lot better shape what happened?? I have a feeling that whatever it was must have happened somewhere between all the taco bell and the cheetos that I ate all summer, oh and lets not forget all the Panda Express. So I'm pretty sore. I forgot how much I don't enjoy this feeling.





My mother and I went shopping for some stuff that I need before I leave. We went to guitar center to get a hard case for Iris, and just my luck they don't have the one that fits it. (I would buy the guitar that needs the special order case.) So we were there for about an hour and a half while every worker guy in the store was determined to find a case in the store that fit my guitar. (I must have looked good that day or something, hmm) Anyway the guy that was helping us found the one I need online and gave us the info we needed to go home and order it. But he also felt it necessary to write his cell phone number and myspace down too just in case I need anything from guitar center while I'm in uncivilized Arkansas. (Of course my mother was thrilled at that)





We also went to bath and body works and I got some smell good sprays and lotions. Or so I thought....


I get home and pour some lotion in my hand to use and realized...that was not lotion. Because you see I may have graduated but being a homeschooler I never really learned how to read and I got "body wash" confused with "lotion" and easy mistake I know. But still, seriously?


So today I have to go back to bath and body works and explain my predicament to the bath and body works lady and see if she will trade me the body washes for the lotions.





Then I babysat the Chesney kiddos last night. They were all really good thank God. Dylan was his funny crazy self instead of his bratty annoying self so I was glad for that. We all played outside till it was too dark to see and then what do you know it was time for bed. Then Brett and Kelly got home not long after that and they brought me a present!:-D
The funny thing is Dylan and Maddie were just singing that song right before they went to bed.

So yes that was cool. I love getting presents.

Then this morning Brit and I went and ate breakfast at Mcdonald's together...kind of. Then we played a driving game that got Brittany lost and I had to come home and look up where she was on google maps to make sure she was going in the right direction and ya, it's been an eventful day so far that is for sure.

Well today I have to get more guitar picks because they all seem to have run away, and maybe some strings because I seem to be a string killer these days and a string killer can never have too many strings.

I've been on a ringtone making kick this week for some odd reason. I made almost every song I like a ringtone. I have like 50 million on my phone. Now if only I had 50 million people to call me so I could hear them all that would be cool.

Ok well I must start my day now so I will bid thee a fare well.
In the words of Jil:
It's been real
It's been fun
It's been real fun.

The start of something new

Well this week has been full of lots of new things...
It started off with Brittany and I trying to get rid of my roots and make my hair all blonde...but we ran out of bleach 3/4th's of the way through so for a day and a half I had a big brown spot on the top of my head. (It made for two hat days that was for sure) And then I bought more bleach and had my mother finish up...in a sense, it worked....I am very blonde, no...I am very white...except of course for the little streaks of orange and the little brown spot that didn't quite make it...there are old ladies that try very hard not to have the color hair that I have right now...

I am contemplating just shaving it all off and starting over...

Anyway moving on

I decided I needed a new color...got a problem with it? too bad

So thursday I tagged along with Brittany and her mom to get Brit all moved in and make sure her host family is nice and everything.
Got started on my 24/7 work out by carrying all her stuff up and down and up and down the stairs at her new house.
I helped her get her room all situated and organized.
Then we took her to Wal-Mart one last time and got her a bunch of stuff then brought her back and said our goodbyes.
It was sad but I don't think it has really hit me yet. I know it will be harder being here at home for almost a week alone but I'll live.
The ride back home with her parents was good. They crack me up how much they fight its hilarious and its about the stupidest things its great.
I don't think I've ever envied anyone so much for something before as I do what Brittany has with her parents. I never noticed the little things before that just come as a shock to me.
All their kids can be so open with them, we're in the car and Brittany tells her mom all about whats going on with Adam as if she were talking to me or another one of her girl friends.
On the way home Bethany txts her mom all about a guy she has a crush on and everything that's going on with that and asking her what she should do.
The complete and total honesty is so foreign to me. It's like I never really knew what I was missing. And just listening to her parents talk in the car talk about their kids, how much they love them and respect them and understand them and trust them to make their own decisions just blows me away.
Heck they even threw me a birthday party! And I'm not even their daughter!
I never completely knew what I was missing.
That family is everything I wish I had but never knew I wanted...

There's a part of me that's scared that I'll be the same kind of parent as mine...
That's how I was raised, that's what I saw, what if I end up doing the same thing?
I know I'll learn from their mistakes and everything but that fear is still there in the back of my mind...
What if I try so hard to not be like my parents that I end up being worse?
What if my kids end up resenting, hating, and lying to me their whole lives?
I know I have a long time before I have to worry about any of that..I guess this week has just kinda pushed all those thoughts to the front of my mind...I guess there's nothing I can do about it now. No point in worrying about it right?

On a different note I heard from my host home person. She's a single lady, never been married, no kids. She sounds like she's in her late 20's which surprised me. We talked on the phone for a little while and she sounds really nice so that is good. One major worry to mark off the list. I should probably start packing.

My list of things I need to do this week:
Take back my guitar case and get one that fits.
Buy more guitar picks
Run
Go through all my crap and pack the stuff I need and put away all the stuff I don't.
Make as much money as I can babysitting when I have a spare hour or two.
Run Run
Figure out something to do to my hair that will make it not so hideous
Wash all of my clothes.
Finish reading Breaking Dawn.
Run Run Run.

Step up....Step down

Hey blogger peeps, it's been a while. A lot has happened since I updated last, I'll try and catch you up.

Let's see...I got to jump into a pond and be with Brittany during her first pond experience. It was pretty exciting. I also had my first zip line experience and decided that someday before I die I will own and pond and zip line.

We also found what Garrett and Sarah would look like as potato heads.

Then I got to go with Brittany and her grandparents to Oklahoma for her cousin's softball tournament. It was really hot and I got a wonderful tan line on my shoulder...only one of my shoulders...and a pretty great little tan on one of my legs too. We had a good time though, her cousin's team won both of the games we got to see so that was cool, and then we got to tour the beauty that is Oklahoma. We went museum hopping, first hitting up the Oklahoma bombing museum.

It was really cool.

The grounds were beautiful.

We even snuck a picture inside and almost got caught by one of the tour ladies. It was a close one.

I think I'm really getting old cuz I actually enjoyed this museum. I must finally be maturing.

Yep totally maturing lol aren't we the sexiest fire fighter and police officer you've ever seen?

We even got grandma and grandpa and uncle charlie in on it. Then we went and ate at sonic and it was an actual go in and sit down sonic. It was pretty exciting.

Then at the hotel Brittany and I found a step

with a helpful reminder. I never knew this

but apparently Oklahomans don't know

how to walk up stairs without specific

instructions.

All in all it was a great trip. I had a blast.

I want to give up...

I can't do this anymore God

You're asking too much of me

I want to run away and never come back

I want to forget about all the things I'm supposed to do to be a perfect little Christian and just get out of here.
And why does that stupid little voice keep coming back
I thought I was done with that

Why
Why
Why

Why does it have to be so hard?
Why does it seem easier for some people?

It would be so so easy to just go back to the way I used to be.

What am I doing wrong?

Am I going crazy?

Who can I trust?

Who is it that has the right answers because everyone seems to have their own and they're all different so who is right and how the heck am I supposed to know who to listen to and who not to listen to?

Why can't you just be clear with all the rules?

Why does it have to be a guessing game?

Why am I so lost?

Why do I want to give up and go back to the way things used to be?

Why can I respect and listen to anyone in the entire world except the people I'm supposed to respect and listen to the most?

I hate them

I resent them

I'm not supposed to but I do

And for some reason I can't tell them that

I still lie and tell them what they want to hear

They think I stopped lying but in reality I've just gotten better at it.

Why does it feel like your a million miles away?

Where are you?



I need you....

The tragic shower story...and...The wonderful awkwardness that is my life.

Hey bloggers,
So today I had a very tragic accident...
I was taking a shower and suddenly the little soap/shaver holder thing lept off the wall and tried to attack my foot. Scary I know. My foot is ok though, the shower wall on the other hand...wasn't so lucky. But I've been told to put tape over the hole in the wall and forget about it. But I mean, how tacky is that? And how am I supposed to live without a place to put my razor?? But on the bright side there were no injuries involved so we're all good. Except for the poor wall that is now naked...

On another note my evening has been pretty interesting. So my dad asked me to go eat dinner and or go see a movie with him which isn't always the highlight of my life but oh well. So I do and we go eat at Petra which was really good, Julian was there working and gave us free desert which I really did not need but was delicious. And then we went to wal mart and rented a movie from that big red box thing. The Jane Austen book club.
Let me just say that this is probably the awkwardest thing I've done in months, and yes I just said awkwardest, it's hilarious and yet very uncomfortable. In this movie there is a girl that is a lesbian, a teacher girl who is married and falls for one of her highschool students, a guy that cheats on his wife and a girl who doesn't want to get married and a few others and they all get together and have a book club and talk about all the Jane Austen novels. The funniest part was how often the topic of sex came up in their discussions and how uncomfortable it made the mood in the room I was sitting in. There were huffy breaths coming from all over I was surrounded. All in all the movie ended well and I think I actually liked it. However I think I will have to watch it again without my parents and the unavoidable awkwardness that follows them everywhere and see if I really like it or not.

Well now the movie is over. I can feel their disgust at the movie we just watched its hilarious. This has been a very interesting night. I kinda feel like reading a trashy romance novel and I don't know why. Well the family has turned on bugs bunny cartoons and that would be my cue to go back upstairs. So for now that's all folks.

Texas laws are evil...

Sorry for the lack of blog postings lately. I really just havent had anything interesting enough to talk about. Until now that is.

So this week I've been trying to get the rest of the stuff done for my ticket that I got forever ago. I had done everything but go to the DPS (which by the way stands for the Department of Public Stupidity or also known as the DMV, the Department of Money Vultures) to take a driving test. So I go to the McKinney DPS to take it and I wait an hour only to find out that you can only take it in the morning. So my mom and I look up all the rules and all the things you have to do for that and find out that you have to show up to the place at least an hour before it opens and wait at the door in line till they open and let you in to get an appointment to take your test later in the day....

So mom looked up where else they have DPS's not wanting me to wait in line for an hour with all the ghetto people of downtown McKinney all by myself, and finds one in Plano. So Thursday I get up at 5 45 in the morning (before God and all things holy even think about getting up) and I drive to Plano, get there at 6 30 and theres a good 20 people already there in line. So I sit down and join them thinking ok whatever at least I'll have people to talk to while I wait. Wrong. I was one of two white people out of the 20 in line and everyone else was speaking their own strange language. So I waited in silence for an hour and a half until I got my appointment to take my driving test an hour and a half later.

I wait

And wait

And wait

Finally I get to do it. But of course I get stuck with the mean black lady instructor person instead of the nice old man. I'm not racist I swear.

The first thing I have to do is parallel park. Not a big deal, I'm a good parallel parker. Wrong. Apparently on Thursday mornings I am a terrible parallel parker and I fail. The mean lady tells me I can come back tomorrow. (Yay I get to get up at 5 45 again in the morning.

So this morning I do the whole thing all over again ready for everything. Oh and Fridays the DPS opens at 8 instead of 7 30. So I decide to get there at the same time as yesterday anyway so I can be closer to the front of the line. Wrong. I get there at 6 30 again (an hour and a half before the place opens) and guess what. There like 25 people already there waiting.

But today I came prepared for the long wait and brought my Bible like a good little Christian girl.

Finally they open. I get my appointment to take my test again and I go and practice parallel parking like 20 times and then get in line.

Luck is finally with me! I get the nice old man!

He recognizes me from yesterday and asks what happened and why I'm back. I tell him and he gets in the car and we start the test. At this point I'm so nervous I'm about to pee my pants. But....I passed!!!

And then it was a long process of getting all the paperwork worked out and paying 10 bucks to get a new drivers license that I really don't need with a new picture that will be even worse than the one I had before (remember this is all happening before 10 AM)

To make an already very long story short. I finished everything I needed for my ticket and as soon as we get back from Desperation I will be a free woman!


Now my busy weekend is starting. I won't even go into everything that is going on this weekend because if I did by the time I finished the weekend would be over. Thank you for reading and have a good day.