Wheat thins are amazing

Wow so much has happened sInce I posted last...For one thIng my computer Is freakIng out and for some reason every tIme I type the letter "I" It Is In caps and so for every word that has an "I" In It, the spell check thInks Its mIsspelled because theres a capItal letter In the mIddle of the word. Its drIvIng me crazy.

Other than that thIngs are goIng pretty well. There Is drama wIth one of the gIrls on my team wIth the fact that no one lIkes her and we're gettIng In trouble for IgnorIng her.
Pastor RIck saId yesterday that the people you don't lIke are the people you're goIng to learn the most from In thIs program. He saId that anyone can love someone you get along wIth but It takes a true ChrIstIan to love someone you thInk Is a paIn In the butt.

I thought about that and realized that he's right. I've learned so much from this girl whether I like it or not. I've learned how a lot of the things she says are the things I think but would never say, things like when we hear about some crazy thing we have to do she will say "what? are you serious? oh gosh this is going to suck." it's honestly what most of us are thinking but when said aloud its the stupidest thing ever. I've learned to change the way I think, to take my thoughts captive. I'm also learning how to be patient and love people who are not exactly the most loveable people. I know that God put her on my team for a reason.

So ya things are interesting here...I know about some stuff that's coming that I'm not supposed to know about and I don't know everything about it, just enough to make me anxious and nervous about it and kinda wish I didn't know about it...that made no sense but thats ok...

I'm experiencing bloggers block at the moment so I'm going to continue this later...

Later

really quick

Hey guys I promised a certain someone that I would post a picture of me with my new hair for all to see so here are a few pictures really quick.




This is the new hair. And that's Monica


This is what my team does in the van when we get bored


This is Monica and I at the garage sale very early in the morning


Laurie and me at the church before I dyed my hair


And this is Livi, she loves me.

Ok that's all folks. Sorry I didn't have time to make much of a post but I promise I will soon.

I miss....

Hello bloggers....
I have a lot to say but not much time to say it right now and I won't get it all out right now....I don't even know how to start...

I miss my best friend....I hate being this far away...I hate that when something big happens I can't be there. I can't rush over to her house when she needs me...I can't hug her when she needs to cry...I can't laugh with her when she's happy...

I love my new friends and we have a lot of fun but after a while I need a break from them...I miss being able to hang out with my best friend constantly and never getting tired of her...

I hate that I'm busy all the time and never have a spare min to talk to her when she needs to talk...

I'm sick of drama and having to get along with all different kinds of people with personalities that clash and having to deal with them. I miss being able to just spend time with my best friend and never hafta worry about drama because the only time we fight is about stupid things.

I miss playing guitar all the time and hearing her sing constantly...I miss taking stupid pictures and making crazy videos...

I miss midnight runs to taco bell and dying eachothers hair and watching buffy the vampire slayer for hours and hours.

I miss having someone around that knows me better than I know myself and knowing them just as well...

I miss Brittany Noel Padilla...

The continuation....

Is that how you spell continuation?? it looks funky but the lil spell check thing says its right. oh well



K so right now I am sitting like right by the window stealing internet from some house near by cuz my internet is still screwed up. Where's Christopher when you need him??

I just got back from church. 24/7 was being introduced to G-Life which is their jr high ministry here and so the three teams did their intro skits that we made up and then just hung out with the jr highers. I've decided I totally love G-Life. Their pastor lady is freakin awesome! She is so flippin hilarious I about pee my pants. I would rather listen to her preach than the college and young adults pastor guy that we listen to sunday nights (is that bad??) anyway it was kinda funny/ironic cuz she preached on purity.

Not the usual save sex for marriage kidna purity but like keeping your heart pure in general. Something I honestly hadn't thought a whole lot about and she told this story about this jr high kid a few years back that had been told by his parents that he is not aloud to have a girlfriend. He says ok.

Ya so then he meets this girl at G-Life and they "fall in love" (of course) so he decides to make her his girlfriend anyway. (of course) and they come up with this sneaky way to communicate by as soon as she emails him she will call his house and then hang up and then he knows to run to the computer and check his email and then reply and delete it really quick. (through all of this I'm having hardcore flashbacks and going omg I totally did that) so needless to say this plan didn't work for very long and they eventually get caught and he gets all mad and is talking to the jr high youth pastor lady (oh her name is Amber btw) so he's all mad and saying how unfair it is and they don't understand and he loves her and all this and she says to him.

"I'm not denying that you have feelings for her, I'm sure you do and I'm sure they are real. But do you love God?"

and he's this great kid and is totally in love with God and he's all like "yes of course I do."

and she says "do you believe that everything in the bible is true and we should do everything it tells us?"

and he's all like "ya of course"

and she goes "well did you know that the bible says you gotta honor your parents?"

and he says "well ya but..."

she cuts him off, "ya there's no buts. Sorry kid if you really believe that the bible is God's word and that we need to do everything it says you can't have but's. And I know that honoring your parents sucks sometimes, but you know what if you honor them, and by doing so you're honoring God, then he will bless you for that."

She went on with saying that so often with God we will tell Him that we give Him everything and we wanna serve Him but....we wanna hold onto this....

God you can have everything....but this...



I was on the edge of my seat the whole sermon. She said a lot more but I didn't have paper to take notes with so that was all from my shaky not reliable memory. But anyway that really hit me hard and I wished so so much that I had heard that when I was in jr high. I'm sure I had heard it but not in that way. Not in the loving way. So ya I'm really excited about their jr high ministry I think it's gonna be awesome.



I had this thought. If we could get jr high kids saved and really living for God while their still in jr high, think how much easier the sr high youth pastors are gonna have it. Why not get them saved and discipled before they get too screwed up? Wouldn't that be easier? That way they won't hafta go through and do a lot of the things that we all had to.

I don't know I just had that thought the other day on one of our long hikes where I didn't have anything to do but walk and think and try to not fall on my face.



Anyway...I really hope I can retain all the information that I have in my brain right now and everything I'm learning until this is all over so I can write it all down cuz there is so much I don't want to forget that I just don't have time to write or type. But for right now that is all I have time for.



Thanks for reading, sorry I ramble a lot.

Peace.


P.S.

Dude ok you would not believe what I had to go through to post this stupid blog! As I hit the publish post button my internet dies...(of course) luckily blogger is wonderful and saves drafts every like 2 seconds or I would be very angry...anyway so I go searching for internet and finally find a connection at the days inn motel. So I am sitting in my car in the days inn parking lot using their internet...is that sad?...don't answer that.

On another note I discovered a secret that I am going to share with you but only because I am a very nice person and I love you. (that and all of like 1 person reads this) You can go to starbucks and buy a venti iced whatever for like 7 bucks....or you can buy a tall hot whatever you drink (in my case the white moca with extra expresso) and then ask for a venti cup of ice and pour the hot drink into the cup of ice and what do you know...you pour it in and its exactly enough. So you get the venti size for the tall price. ITS A BARGAIN! I feel so sneaky like I cheated the system or something I love it.

Ok ok that is all I promise I'm done, now I must download a whole buttload of music.
Goodbye

Dude its been forever!

Well I went back and forth trying to decide if I wanted to post on here or me and Brittany's website and I decided I didn't feel like making it PG for all the church people so I decided to post on here. Don't know if I have anything to say that would be PG-13 but it makes me feel better to know they won't be reading it sometimes.





Anyway, So much has happened in the last month of being here at 24/7 its insane. We've been ropes coursing to cave spelunking to repelling to fasting for 3 days with only water. It's been crazy awesome. I've learned so much and grown so much it's insane. They say every year at 24/7 you age 5 to 10 years in maturity, I know why now. I wish I had time to go through and talk about everything but that would take a very long time and I only have about 30 more min of time left.





So here I sit at Starbucks drinking my amazingly delicious java chip frap (with xtra expresso of course) that was paid for with a starbucks gift card I got in the mail from the wonderful mrs Thacker. I love her. So I'm sitting here chillin at starbucks stealing some internet from somwhere and catching up on email and other internet usage. Every time I get time off I feel so rushed and scatter brained cuz I know I have so much I need to do and so little time to do it. Anyway I honestly have no idea where this paragraph was going but I don't think I got there so I think I will start a new one.





K let's try this again. I just got back from our fasting retreat. I started off the week expecting God to do some big things but I had no idea what He had planned to do in me. First off we hiked with everything we packed (for me it was my big hiking pack plus my reg back pack that I carried on my front) We hiked through the trails on some mountain. (I never know where we are so its just some mountain) We hiked from 11am to about 5 30pm with no lunch break. We had a few water breaks in there that lasted about 5 to 10 min but we weren't encouraged to sit down on account of we probably won't be able to get back up. Then we get to this really cool place with a water fall and a pond thing and we have some worship. It was absolutely beautiful. Take a look, my camera didn't do it justice though.











I'm told that the main hike through the woods and stuff was about 12 miles. We finished that and I was feeling pretty good. Wasn't too tired or sore, was incredible sweaty but wasn't too tired. Then there was the oh so fun hike to where we were staying. We all walked two by two along the side of the road for a really really long time...That's where I started feeling not so great about the trip. I started to get my infamously wonderful attitude that comes out when I have to do something I don't want to do (sarcasm)





So we're hiking, and hiking, and hiking...with no clue when or if we ever get to stop (still carrying everything we packed for 3 days) I can't feel my legs or feet and my shoulders hurt and all I've eaten is some beef jerky and a pack of crackers....I'm pissed. I gradually got a little better of an attitude as my legs became more and more numb and I felt less and less but I still was not a happy camper.





Then we get to the house that we're staying at and me and the 12 other girls staying in this little house all get showered and meet at the meeting house and we have our last dinner (which was incredible) After we eat we're told the fast starts at 8 30pm. So after we're dismissed we all go back to our houses we're staying at and hang out and then go to bed. Next morning, wake up, I dreamed that we woke up to this amazing hot breakfast and then I remember...We're fasting...no breakfast, no lunch, no dinner...for who knows how long because we don't get told anything..oh and we have to keep up our push ups and sit ups so we don't get out of shape...My attitude comes back.
So we go meet and have worship, then are told that today we're going to have quiet time for a while... (cool I like quiet time) ...for 8 hours...(excuse me?) ...yep 8 hours...
So I'm laying in the grass reading my Bible and guess what the first thing I read is..."Do everything without complaining or arguing so that you may become pure and blameless children of God."
(Ouch...Ok God you have my attention)
I keep reading and my attitude towards the whole thing disappears, suddenly I'm reading and I don't even realize that hours are going by. Then God and I have a heart to heart and I realize this very important concept....It's not about me...wow...
I read the entire book of Matthew in one sitting. (If you know me at all that just doesnt ever happen, do you know how many chapters are in that book??) The next few hours flew by and by the time we had to be back at the meeting house I didn't want to go, I wanted to keep reading. I got so much out of reading the Bible in that time than I have in my entire life.
Have you even though about, like really really thought about the fact that Jesus turned a few pieces of bread and fish and fed 5000 men?? That's just men, that's not counting the women and children! Like WOW! Dude I can't even tell you how many times I've read that story or heard it preached but dude! That's a freakin ton of people! And there was still a bunch leftover! Dude!

So ya that was a revelation. Also I read the part where Peter walks on the water and I realized something...again I've read and heard this story 50 million times but I realized something new. (that's the cool thing about the Bible, you can read the same thing 50 times and get something different out of it every time) Peter was walking on the water towards Jesus and was doing great and then he took one look down, one look at the waves, at the storm, and he sank. That's all it took was one look. One look away from Jesus and he sank. How many times am I doing great, walking on water for Jesus and I take one look at what I'm doing. One thought about the work outs and how much it hurts, one thought about how unfair it is that us first years never get to know anything, one complaint, and BAM! I sink. That's all it takes is one look away. We have to stay focused on Jesus or we are going to sink.

I got so much more out of this week but I'm going to have to post another post later because I must leave starbucks and go to church now.

So...
To be continued....

Brittanyless Texas

Not really, I am wearing underwear I promise. It's really cute underwear too:-)


So I've decided that Prosper TX without Brittany is pretty boring and stupid and I don't understand how anyone (myself included) ever lived here before she came.





So this is all that has happened since my last post in Brittany-less Texas.





I've been running, trying to get in shape for my Christian boot camp I'm about to go to for 10 months. I used to be in a lot better shape what happened?? I have a feeling that whatever it was must have happened somewhere between all the taco bell and the cheetos that I ate all summer, oh and lets not forget all the Panda Express. So I'm pretty sore. I forgot how much I don't enjoy this feeling.





My mother and I went shopping for some stuff that I need before I leave. We went to guitar center to get a hard case for Iris, and just my luck they don't have the one that fits it. (I would buy the guitar that needs the special order case.) So we were there for about an hour and a half while every worker guy in the store was determined to find a case in the store that fit my guitar. (I must have looked good that day or something, hmm) Anyway the guy that was helping us found the one I need online and gave us the info we needed to go home and order it. But he also felt it necessary to write his cell phone number and myspace down too just in case I need anything from guitar center while I'm in uncivilized Arkansas. (Of course my mother was thrilled at that)





We also went to bath and body works and I got some smell good sprays and lotions. Or so I thought....


I get home and pour some lotion in my hand to use and realized...that was not lotion. Because you see I may have graduated but being a homeschooler I never really learned how to read and I got "body wash" confused with "lotion" and easy mistake I know. But still, seriously?


So today I have to go back to bath and body works and explain my predicament to the bath and body works lady and see if she will trade me the body washes for the lotions.





Then I babysat the Chesney kiddos last night. They were all really good thank God. Dylan was his funny crazy self instead of his bratty annoying self so I was glad for that. We all played outside till it was too dark to see and then what do you know it was time for bed. Then Brett and Kelly got home not long after that and they brought me a present!:-D
The funny thing is Dylan and Maddie were just singing that song right before they went to bed.

So yes that was cool. I love getting presents.

Then this morning Brit and I went and ate breakfast at Mcdonald's together...kind of. Then we played a driving game that got Brittany lost and I had to come home and look up where she was on google maps to make sure she was going in the right direction and ya, it's been an eventful day so far that is for sure.

Well today I have to get more guitar picks because they all seem to have run away, and maybe some strings because I seem to be a string killer these days and a string killer can never have too many strings.

I've been on a ringtone making kick this week for some odd reason. I made almost every song I like a ringtone. I have like 50 million on my phone. Now if only I had 50 million people to call me so I could hear them all that would be cool.

Ok well I must start my day now so I will bid thee a fare well.
In the words of Jil:
It's been real
It's been fun
It's been real fun.

The start of something new

Well this week has been full of lots of new things...
It started off with Brittany and I trying to get rid of my roots and make my hair all blonde...but we ran out of bleach 3/4th's of the way through so for a day and a half I had a big brown spot on the top of my head. (It made for two hat days that was for sure) And then I bought more bleach and had my mother finish up...in a sense, it worked....I am very blonde, no...I am very white...except of course for the little streaks of orange and the little brown spot that didn't quite make it...there are old ladies that try very hard not to have the color hair that I have right now...

I am contemplating just shaving it all off and starting over...

Anyway moving on

I decided I needed a new color...got a problem with it? too bad

So thursday I tagged along with Brittany and her mom to get Brit all moved in and make sure her host family is nice and everything.
Got started on my 24/7 work out by carrying all her stuff up and down and up and down the stairs at her new house.
I helped her get her room all situated and organized.
Then we took her to Wal-Mart one last time and got her a bunch of stuff then brought her back and said our goodbyes.
It was sad but I don't think it has really hit me yet. I know it will be harder being here at home for almost a week alone but I'll live.
The ride back home with her parents was good. They crack me up how much they fight its hilarious and its about the stupidest things its great.
I don't think I've ever envied anyone so much for something before as I do what Brittany has with her parents. I never noticed the little things before that just come as a shock to me.
All their kids can be so open with them, we're in the car and Brittany tells her mom all about whats going on with Adam as if she were talking to me or another one of her girl friends.
On the way home Bethany txts her mom all about a guy she has a crush on and everything that's going on with that and asking her what she should do.
The complete and total honesty is so foreign to me. It's like I never really knew what I was missing. And just listening to her parents talk in the car talk about their kids, how much they love them and respect them and understand them and trust them to make their own decisions just blows me away.
Heck they even threw me a birthday party! And I'm not even their daughter!
I never completely knew what I was missing.
That family is everything I wish I had but never knew I wanted...

There's a part of me that's scared that I'll be the same kind of parent as mine...
That's how I was raised, that's what I saw, what if I end up doing the same thing?
I know I'll learn from their mistakes and everything but that fear is still there in the back of my mind...
What if I try so hard to not be like my parents that I end up being worse?
What if my kids end up resenting, hating, and lying to me their whole lives?
I know I have a long time before I have to worry about any of that..I guess this week has just kinda pushed all those thoughts to the front of my mind...I guess there's nothing I can do about it now. No point in worrying about it right?

On a different note I heard from my host home person. She's a single lady, never been married, no kids. She sounds like she's in her late 20's which surprised me. We talked on the phone for a little while and she sounds really nice so that is good. One major worry to mark off the list. I should probably start packing.

My list of things I need to do this week:
Take back my guitar case and get one that fits.
Buy more guitar picks
Run
Go through all my crap and pack the stuff I need and put away all the stuff I don't.
Make as much money as I can babysitting when I have a spare hour or two.
Run Run
Figure out something to do to my hair that will make it not so hideous
Wash all of my clothes.
Finish reading Breaking Dawn.
Run Run Run.

Step up....Step down

Hey blogger peeps, it's been a while. A lot has happened since I updated last, I'll try and catch you up.

Let's see...I got to jump into a pond and be with Brittany during her first pond experience. It was pretty exciting. I also had my first zip line experience and decided that someday before I die I will own and pond and zip line.

We also found what Garrett and Sarah would look like as potato heads.

Then I got to go with Brittany and her grandparents to Oklahoma for her cousin's softball tournament. It was really hot and I got a wonderful tan line on my shoulder...only one of my shoulders...and a pretty great little tan on one of my legs too. We had a good time though, her cousin's team won both of the games we got to see so that was cool, and then we got to tour the beauty that is Oklahoma. We went museum hopping, first hitting up the Oklahoma bombing museum.

It was really cool.

The grounds were beautiful.

We even snuck a picture inside and almost got caught by one of the tour ladies. It was a close one.

I think I'm really getting old cuz I actually enjoyed this museum. I must finally be maturing.

Yep totally maturing lol aren't we the sexiest fire fighter and police officer you've ever seen?

We even got grandma and grandpa and uncle charlie in on it. Then we went and ate at sonic and it was an actual go in and sit down sonic. It was pretty exciting.

Then at the hotel Brittany and I found a step

with a helpful reminder. I never knew this

but apparently Oklahomans don't know

how to walk up stairs without specific

instructions.

All in all it was a great trip. I had a blast.

I want to give up...

I can't do this anymore God

You're asking too much of me

I want to run away and never come back

I want to forget about all the things I'm supposed to do to be a perfect little Christian and just get out of here.
And why does that stupid little voice keep coming back
I thought I was done with that

Why
Why
Why

Why does it have to be so hard?
Why does it seem easier for some people?

It would be so so easy to just go back to the way I used to be.

What am I doing wrong?

Am I going crazy?

Who can I trust?

Who is it that has the right answers because everyone seems to have their own and they're all different so who is right and how the heck am I supposed to know who to listen to and who not to listen to?

Why can't you just be clear with all the rules?

Why does it have to be a guessing game?

Why am I so lost?

Why do I want to give up and go back to the way things used to be?

Why can I respect and listen to anyone in the entire world except the people I'm supposed to respect and listen to the most?

I hate them

I resent them

I'm not supposed to but I do

And for some reason I can't tell them that

I still lie and tell them what they want to hear

They think I stopped lying but in reality I've just gotten better at it.

Why does it feel like your a million miles away?

Where are you?



I need you....

The tragic shower story...and...The wonderful awkwardness that is my life.

Hey bloggers,
So today I had a very tragic accident...
I was taking a shower and suddenly the little soap/shaver holder thing lept off the wall and tried to attack my foot. Scary I know. My foot is ok though, the shower wall on the other hand...wasn't so lucky. But I've been told to put tape over the hole in the wall and forget about it. But I mean, how tacky is that? And how am I supposed to live without a place to put my razor?? But on the bright side there were no injuries involved so we're all good. Except for the poor wall that is now naked...

On another note my evening has been pretty interesting. So my dad asked me to go eat dinner and or go see a movie with him which isn't always the highlight of my life but oh well. So I do and we go eat at Petra which was really good, Julian was there working and gave us free desert which I really did not need but was delicious. And then we went to wal mart and rented a movie from that big red box thing. The Jane Austen book club.
Let me just say that this is probably the awkwardest thing I've done in months, and yes I just said awkwardest, it's hilarious and yet very uncomfortable. In this movie there is a girl that is a lesbian, a teacher girl who is married and falls for one of her highschool students, a guy that cheats on his wife and a girl who doesn't want to get married and a few others and they all get together and have a book club and talk about all the Jane Austen novels. The funniest part was how often the topic of sex came up in their discussions and how uncomfortable it made the mood in the room I was sitting in. There were huffy breaths coming from all over I was surrounded. All in all the movie ended well and I think I actually liked it. However I think I will have to watch it again without my parents and the unavoidable awkwardness that follows them everywhere and see if I really like it or not.

Well now the movie is over. I can feel their disgust at the movie we just watched its hilarious. This has been a very interesting night. I kinda feel like reading a trashy romance novel and I don't know why. Well the family has turned on bugs bunny cartoons and that would be my cue to go back upstairs. So for now that's all folks.

Texas laws are evil...

Sorry for the lack of blog postings lately. I really just havent had anything interesting enough to talk about. Until now that is.

So this week I've been trying to get the rest of the stuff done for my ticket that I got forever ago. I had done everything but go to the DPS (which by the way stands for the Department of Public Stupidity or also known as the DMV, the Department of Money Vultures) to take a driving test. So I go to the McKinney DPS to take it and I wait an hour only to find out that you can only take it in the morning. So my mom and I look up all the rules and all the things you have to do for that and find out that you have to show up to the place at least an hour before it opens and wait at the door in line till they open and let you in to get an appointment to take your test later in the day....

So mom looked up where else they have DPS's not wanting me to wait in line for an hour with all the ghetto people of downtown McKinney all by myself, and finds one in Plano. So Thursday I get up at 5 45 in the morning (before God and all things holy even think about getting up) and I drive to Plano, get there at 6 30 and theres a good 20 people already there in line. So I sit down and join them thinking ok whatever at least I'll have people to talk to while I wait. Wrong. I was one of two white people out of the 20 in line and everyone else was speaking their own strange language. So I waited in silence for an hour and a half until I got my appointment to take my driving test an hour and a half later.

I wait

And wait

And wait

Finally I get to do it. But of course I get stuck with the mean black lady instructor person instead of the nice old man. I'm not racist I swear.

The first thing I have to do is parallel park. Not a big deal, I'm a good parallel parker. Wrong. Apparently on Thursday mornings I am a terrible parallel parker and I fail. The mean lady tells me I can come back tomorrow. (Yay I get to get up at 5 45 again in the morning.

So this morning I do the whole thing all over again ready for everything. Oh and Fridays the DPS opens at 8 instead of 7 30. So I decide to get there at the same time as yesterday anyway so I can be closer to the front of the line. Wrong. I get there at 6 30 again (an hour and a half before the place opens) and guess what. There like 25 people already there waiting.

But today I came prepared for the long wait and brought my Bible like a good little Christian girl.

Finally they open. I get my appointment to take my test again and I go and practice parallel parking like 20 times and then get in line.

Luck is finally with me! I get the nice old man!

He recognizes me from yesterday and asks what happened and why I'm back. I tell him and he gets in the car and we start the test. At this point I'm so nervous I'm about to pee my pants. But....I passed!!!

And then it was a long process of getting all the paperwork worked out and paying 10 bucks to get a new drivers license that I really don't need with a new picture that will be even worse than the one I had before (remember this is all happening before 10 AM)

To make an already very long story short. I finished everything I needed for my ticket and as soon as we get back from Desperation I will be a free woman!


Now my busy weekend is starting. I won't even go into everything that is going on this weekend because if I did by the time I finished the weekend would be over. Thank you for reading and have a good day.

Happy Tuesday

Hey bloggers

I don't really have much of interest to say but I was in the mood to post a blog so sorry about the boringness.


So yesterday was pretty uneventful and consisted of watching movies with my mom and boredom, and then babysitting the Chesneys. Then this morning I got up and went to work out. Something I havent done in a very very long time. And now I am back at the Padilla's and I just finished washing the dishes and cleaning up a little from the crazy party I had here the other night. I hope they won't notice all the alcohol missing:-/

Well the lady I'm supposed to be working for while Brittany is out of town called me again last night and said she won't need me today either. So I think today I will lay out and get tan. Oh and then tomorrow I'm getting my hair colored again. Yay for no more roots!


I apologize for the boringness of this blog. I will shut up now.

Good morning

So the garage sale went pretty well. We made more than we were expecting to which was good but we still had sooooo much crap left over that we're giving to good will and we get to box and bag that all up today after church, woohoo.


Last night I babysat from 6 to 1 30 in the morning and made 85 bucks so that was exciting, we watched shrek 3 and ice age and played wii fitness, I am still sore from that by the way. And then the kids went to bed and I played guitar hero for like 2 and a half hours lol. And then I came back to the Padilla's to sleep cuz I'm house sitting. That was the first time I've ever stayed in a house all by myself so it was a little bit scary. Really the only thing that was really scary was the fan in Brittany's room was on and so every little sound from the fan or from something blowing around sounded like a person coming into the room. But once I fell asleep it was fine lol I would never want to live alone though its way too quiet.


Well I better get going to church. The youth band *minus Brittany, Kenzie, and I* is playing in big church this weekend, so that should be pretty interesting.

Later yo

Long time no post

Hey blogger people

Sorry for not posting in like 10 years. It's been a kind of depressing and unsure last few weeks and I didn't want to bore you with my boo hoo-ness. So I will try to keep this post as happy and upbeat as possible.

Brittany and her family left today on vacation for a week:-( *wow I'm off to a crummy start on keeping this happy* I am staying at her house for the week though so that will be cool to have a place to go and be alone and get away from, well everything. It's sad when you feel more at home in someone elses home than your own.

Moving on, our youth group is having a church garage sale in the morning as a fund raiser for desperation. We have to be at the church in the morning at the very ungodly hour of 5:45 AM. God isn't even up that early! It's not right to make people be some place before the sun and God are even up! I'm not exactly a morning type person. I'm working on it though I really am.

umm...today was the last day of house sitting the house is plano, those poor dogs didn't get walked all week. Brittany and I are not very good house/dog sitter, at least when the house is a good 2o min away.

oh today my mother officially said her last no about keeping the squirrel...I am sad but I know it would have been a huge hassel to keep her so it's for the best. But I will miss her, just not her peeing on everything.

Let's see...what else...I think that's about all the interesting, non-depressing, details of life right now.

So with that I will end this somewhat boring yet informative post and bid thee all a good evening.

Anybody home?

God I really need your help right now.
I'm so sick of this.
I'm sick of not knowing for sure.
Every time I think I know for sure something changes and suddenly I don't know.
I need a little certainty.
It would be really cool if you could like post a big neon sign outside my window with bright flashing lights telling me what I'm supposed to do about this...
Heck I'd be fine with a talking donkey right about now, I just need to know.
I feel like every decision I make is the wrong one.
I don't want to screw this up...
Please Jesus I need you.

Good morning

Hello and good morning blogger people

I filled out my application to go to worship school part time. Well my mom filled it out and I told her what to write because I have the handwriting equivalent to an 8 year old boy. I really should work on that...
I'm ready to just go to worship school now. All of the suspense of not knowing what is going to happen or what its really going to be like is killing me. Plus I'm getting extremely sick of my family...I know thats really bad to say but its true...I'm just ready to leave...

Well I have an interview at Mardel today so I should probably go get ready...later peeps

Never get caught in elastic...too much wiggle room is dangerous...

Wow this week has been crazy...It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. It was so awesome getting to see all 17 of me and Brittany's little 3-5 year olds up there on stage worshipping God. Granted there were many times throughout the week where I wanted to kill one if not all of them but overall it was a great week. It was an honor to get to teach those little guys with Brittany. I had more fun this year working with them and not getting paid than working in the nursery watching babies last year and getting paid, and that surprised me. I am going to miss them and all the ladies that worked so hard this week when I leave for colorado. That is definitely what I will miss most, my church and all the people in it. What's kinda sad is that I will miss that more than my family.

Well that is all I have time for today, stay tuned for more soon to come

For some reason I am not one little bit tired

So youth this week was pretty good, apart from the unnecessary drama caused by dumb youngins in the youth group that sometimes I just want to slap and say grow up. Seriously I was not a very mature kid but I was more mature than them! I guess its just hard for some kids to think of other people before them selves.

Anyway enough ranting about that. Worship arts camp is going well. Especially considering Brit and I have 17 little 3-5 yr olds in a little bitty room. I'm excited about friday night though. And very excited about getting t shirts:-D

So at youth tonight during the closing part where everyone is supposed to close their eyes and pray and stuff I was actually able to tune everything out and just stand there and listen to God. That hasn't happened in so long it was so cool. I seriously just stood there and didn't hear anything in the room but God's voice...and Garrett shouting a little here and there. But it was good to get back to that. I finally feel really good and sure about going to worship school. Which means I should probably get working on my application lol

Well I think that is all for now as I am out of things to say. So I bid all thee blogger people adue...? a due? adoo? ya I don't know how to spell that but I hope you catch my drift.

Rise and Shine

So babysitting last night went really well. The kids were awake for about an hour and a half and then went to bed *poor things* so from 7 30 to 11 30 when their parents got home I myspaced and blogged and read a book and watched friends and hannah montana and got paid 60 bucks. And these people wanna use me once a week and have more rich friends that want me too. God is good. I might make it through this summer without blowing all my graduation money afterall.

I totally wish I lived in a house where you could go out and sit on the roof. I've always wanted to do that. I've tried in my house but the roof is too steep and I almost fell off *ya not a good thing* But someday before I die I'm going to live in a house where you can climb out on the roof and play guitar and pray and that be my place that no one else could go to.

So for now I will just have to live with my bean bag guitar chair.

Peace

I should have brought a guitar...

So I'm babysitting and these poor kids went to bed at 7 30...I got here at 6, the parents won't be back for at least another 2 hours...I'm so bored I'm tempted to wake the kids up and make them play with me. At least I managed to find food. I was getting worried there for a little while but I made myself a scrumptious peanut butter and jelly sand which.

Did you know that sand which is two words not one?? I always thought it was one word but the spell check on here said its two words not one. I feel like I've been living a lie my whole life I never knew it wasnt one word....

I was just overcome with the desire to play my guitar and being the smart person that I am didn't think to bring one. Good job zuzu...

Well I am getting tired of myspace and defensive driving so I think I will go watch hannah montana and try to stay awake because I'm just cool like that.

Hunger...It's consuming me...

I feel like I'm withering away into nothingness. I'm so hungry my stomach is eating itself!! Not really but I felt like being dramatic. So this whole diet thing is getting old, I miss food. But I did weigh today and I've lost 3 pounds *snaps for zuzu* Oh and Brittany lost 5 pounds! *snaps for brittany* My one light in this darkness that is dieting is these amazing weight watchers ice cream bars that are simply divine. Like I would eat these even if I wasn't on a diet they are so good and they are only....1 point!! praise Jesus there is hope! I just might make it through this alive!

I have decided that I am going to come up with a line of food that is cheap, healthy, and tastes good and takes away the hunger. Because seriously pretty much the way it is is if it tastes good and is cheap and filling then its gonna make you fat...What is wrong with this world?!?! I need to have a talk with whoever is in charge of that cuz he needs to make some changes.

Ok so I'm taking defensive driving online and the little chapter quiz questions crack me up

Determine a safe speed to travel based on __________.
the volume level of your music
road conditions, traffic density, how far you can see ahead
how late you are for an appointment
the fastest speed your vehicle can go


Hmm I can't decide between the volume level of my music and the fastest my car can go...Seriously I wanna know who gets that question wrong. Who is really that dumb??


Well I am going to sleep...It's my new theory during this diet thing where if you just go to sleep the hunger will go away. So I'm going to go test my theory. Good night all.

Feeling better today

So today started off like pretty much any other day, except I slept in really late cuz I was up late fighting off the effects of meds I was on but that is another story. Anyway normal day, I get to youth and we were worshipping and after the two fast songs were over and everyone had stopped jumping and dancing and being crazy for Jesus my stomach started hurting really bad and I felt like I was about to throw up. And I'm standing there thinking "no I can't go throw up I wanna worship God I don't wanna miss anything" So I ignored it and it got worse and worse and I seriously felt like any second I was gonna, pardon the graphic term but, blow chunks. So I dropped to my knees and said no I'm here to worship God and I pressed in and praised and worshipped and thanked God and just sat in His presense and pretty soon I realized, hey my stomach feels fine, I don't feel like I need to throw up anymore. And I sat there and I felt God say, "See, all you have to do is worship me and keep your focus on me and I will take care of everything."

So after that and then going out to eat with some friends and talking about Jesus I'm totally pumped and its awesome. I'm happy that I'm back to being pumped about Jesus again.

Right now I rebuke Satan and his crap he keeps bringing back into my head. I AM NOT FAT!!! I AM NOT UGLY!! AND I AM NOT A DEPRESSED LONELY CUTTER!!!! I will never go back to that Satan!!! You know why, because Jesus died for me so that I can go to Him with my problems and YOU HAVE NO HOLD ON ME!! I AM NOT THE SAME!!!! I WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN!!! SO BEAT IT DEVIL!!! I'M SO OVER YOU!

Dude Jesus is awesome...

Just venting...Feel free to disreguard...

Do you ever have those moments where you wonder if you really are good at anything?

Or if you're even an interesting person that people actually want to be around?

Where you just sit there and look at your life and yourself and just kinda of reflect and then wonder how you even have any friends at all?

I've been reflecting lately and I don't like what I see. Because to be perfectly honest I see a spoiled immature sarcastic brat of an 18 yr old that can't get along with her parents, that isn't an interesting entertaining person, that can't make decisions and when she tries they always end up being the wrong ones, that is just not a very nice, fun, friendly, outgoing person. I don't want to be like my parents, but I see more and more of them in me everyday and I hate it, I don't want to be like them. And I don't want to be that kind of parent, I don't want my kids to resent me like that...Most of this is probably just me being hard on myself and having a low self esteem moment, but sometimes I seriously wonder why my friends even like me, or if they just keep me around cuz they feel sorry for me...I havent had those thoughts in a long time and it kind of scares me...And then I feel stupid for even thinking them...I thought I was done with this...

I'm starting to second guess myself about my decision to go to colorado...I was so sure that's what God wanted me to do...But the more I think about it the more I think that I'm wrong for thinking that I could do that...It's a worship leader training school...worship leaders sing...I can't sing...and what am I expecting to do after I go thru the school? I'm sure not gonna go lead worship at some church. Won't that be waisting money if I go to a school that teaches me something I'm not even going to use as a career? Am I just wanting to go because it's the easiest way to get out of my house?

I really thought I was over this stupid self pity I'm not good enough thinking...Why does it keep coming back? Jesus why does it keep coming back? I thought it was gone...I want to like the person that I am...I want to take a complete 360 and start over with everything and change completely but I don't even know where to start...

Let the rain fall down

Wow its been forever since my last post on here. I don't have enough time to catch you up right now but I will soon. The most exciting news is that there has been a new addition to my family...of guitars. Lilly is my new baby, she is a beautiful Mitchell acoustic. That makes 3, its a lot for a single mom but I'm up for the challenge and can't wait until God blesses me with another.

I'm tan! There is another story to my tan that is rather gross and ugly that I won't get into right now but for the most part I am tan and that is all you need to know.

It's raining...and thundering...and my power can't decide if it is going to go out or stay on so it is flickering like crazy...


Well that is all I have time for at the moment as I have to go to the wonderful place that is the jaw doctor *insert boo's here* I will write again soon with a more informative update.

Later yo

This is a blog...You should read it...

Hello fellow bloggers how are you today? I am fine

K so I'm kinda getting bored with these font choices I'm not gonna lie....

Today I made it through the event I have been dreading for about 6 months, graduation, and now that it is over I am indescribably relieved. But also incredibly bummed cuz tomorrow afternoon I am leaving to go Galvestin for like a week for senior trip and will not get to see my wonderful best friend:-( I am trying really hard to be optimistic and try to have fun on this trip (that btw my mother is going on) I'm sure it won't be that bad but I'm not exactly looking forward to it. I can really only take so much of this combination of girls for so long (especially with my mother present) But we will see how this goes. I'm sure I will be posting a lot while I'm there out of boredom so be prepared.

The Outcast conference was a huge success. God did so many amazing things this week and it was incredible. Every night I wanted to just keep going, keep worshipping, keep singing, cuz God is just so awesome I didn't want to stop. It was like a preview of what heaven will be like without the sweat and tireness. I'm so excited to go to heaven like wow.

For some reason I have been burping like a guy lately. I never used to burp ever and then randomly a few months ago they just started coming out. Like my burper was turned off and somehow got activated randomly...hmm...I think I will research that

Well I really should be either packing or sleeping, probably sleeping more than packing cuz that 45 min nap I took on the living room floor today just didn't cut it.

Later dudes

Just one sec

Hey blogger peeps

Well I'm pretty darn tired so this is going to be short. I just felt that I should post a blog in honor of the fact that I am DONE WITH HIGHSCHOOL!!!!!!!!! so ya. Just thought I'd let the world of bloggers know that.


So the Outcast conference is just plain amazing, tomorrow is the last night and I'm so flipping excited but kind of sad because it's almost over. There are just no words to even describe everything that has happened at the conference so far its just like wow. God is good. And that is the understatement of the century.


I'm going to go to sleep now because I'm very exhausted.
Night bloggers

I can think of no title for this...

Sup Bloggers

So I think I'm finally getting the hang of this whole blogger thing...maybe...I've still got a few things to fix but I'm working on it.

Starting today, this week is going to be the craziest, busiest, most insanely chaotic week of my life thus far...I will spare you the details as by the time I finished telling you it would be well into the week and you would probably have a pretty bad brain overload*and we wouldn't want that now would we?*

On another note I have officially FINISHED Worldview 3. I made it! I survived!! I can't believe it I'm still in awe. Now only two more days of class left and I am through with highschool forever! That is very exciting.

Ok well blogger peeps I'm gonna hafta go now because the food is here and if you know me at all you know that where the food is, zuzu will be also.

Later dudes

It's a new day...

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name

Just One of Those Days....

Hi blogger people...
Let me just warn you in advance that this next post will not be a happy one as I am not in the best of moods...so if you are in a good mood and don't want to spoil it I recommend you stop reading now...

So you know how every now and then you just have one of those days where all the little things that have bothered you over the last, however long its been since you've had a breakdown, finally pile up and it only takes one more little thing to go wrong and you totally lose it? Ya so today was that day for me...

I am trying so hard not to be mad and have a bad attitude about my jaw and the fact that I will have to deal with these killer head aches and excruciating jaw pain and popping the rest of my life...But it's so freaking frustrating when you're hungry (and you eat as much and as often as I do) and you can't think of anything to eat that won't hurt your jaw because just opening your jaw and closing it hurts. And it's really depressing to know that even if I went through surgery to fix it, it wouldn't be totally fixed and would be even more painful than what I'm going through now...And it's even more frustrating to know that I am being stupid for getting so worked up about something so small when there are people in the world that are suffering from things like cancer and other life threatening problems and I'm sitting here complaining about head aches and jaw popping.

I keep wondering if God is trying to teach me some kind of lesson through this or something...if so I wanna hurry up and learn it cuz this freaking sucks!!! On top of that I have continued with my track record of failing to do anything right, ever....I know I need to be praising God through this even though I don't feel like it but it's so hard to keep from letting everything get me down and depressed, cuz one thing will go bad and then all I can think about is all the things in my life that suck and drive me insane...
my crazy annoyingly hypocritical parents
my stupid ticket and everything I hafta do for that
my stupid speeding problem that not only gets me screwed but everyone else in the world too
my ghetto rental car that doesn't have cruise control
my jaw that will hurt and pop for the rest of my life (my husband is going to have to really really love me to deal with all the popping my jaw does and not be totally annoyed as well as turned off)
and then of course there is the ever present question of what am I going to do after highschool....

I am so sick of life and all its stupid little problems! I'm sick of not being able to do anything right!

I need you Jesus to come to my rescue
Where else can I go?
There's no other name by which I am saved
Capture me with grace
I will follow you.

Hey blogger peeps
So I really should be either doing homework or sleeping but seeing as to I am on the computer right now, that is just not going to happen so I think I will post a quick blog.

Well I got my cartilage pierced today...FINALLY. FINALLY turned 18 so that I can FINALLY get it done legally and without getting in huge trouble from my parents. I get home and talk to my parents for a good 20 minutes....they don't even notice. Heck why did I not do this months ago? I just keep telling myself that I did the right thing and should be happy about it....but I'm gonna be honest doing the right thing and being a good person kinda sucks sometimes cuz here I am finally 18 and legal and can't even get my stinking belly button pierced cuz it is the summer...sad day....Why couldn't my parents have had me in the freaking winter?!

Ok enough ranting...On another note I am 2 weeks away from being completely and totally 100% done with highschool *commence cheering* So I am excited about that. Just pray that I live through those 2 weeks as they will be very very very very busy and hecktick (is that how you spell that??) and crazy and full of no sleep.

Well my hardcore pain in the butt jaw meds are kicking are kicking in now and I am falling asleep on the keyboard so I will be leaving now. Good night blogger people.

The randomness that is my life...

Hello fellow blogger people,

So I finally figured out how to add friends on this thing, no thats a lie, Brittany figured it out and I watched. But I finally have a friend on here so its ok!!

Well I hope everyone is having a good friday night. I am currently babysitting and watching the movie Alvin and the Chipmunks which I had to fight with the kids to get to watch. I highly recommend this movie to anyone with a sense of humor.

I wonder if anyone in history has had a head ache so painful and intense that they cut their head off..."Wow ZuZu that's about the most random stupid thing I've ever heard of" you say...Well I wonder this because I am presently experiencing the mother of all head aches and considering cutting my head off...I think it would be an interesting look. Maybe even a new fashion trend

Well that is enough randomness for now...tune in next time for more randomness with ZuZu thank you and good night.

Why can't the world just be simple?!?

Ok seriously I cannot figure out how to do anything on this blogger thing and it's driving me insane. Why can't everything just be plain and simple and right where you need it???

I'm a generally intelligent person when it comes to most things so why can I not figure out how this thing works??

I think I will make my own blogger website thing and everything in it will be plain and simple and easy to use and cool and fast and awesome. Or maybe I will hire someone to make a blogger website for me and I will just tell them what to put on it because now thinking about it, making my own blogger website would be about as much work as figuring out this stupid blogger website right here...hmm k that idea didn't work out that well....

I just wanna figure out how to search for other blogger people and save them as your friends!!!! Can you not have friends on this thing??

No of course not, this is an anti-social blogger site where everyone posts blogs but does not actually talk to anyone

Seriously there has to be a way...

I am determined to figure it out....but not right now because I am too frustrated and tired and need to sleep.

But ranting like this is making me feel better...even though no one will be commenting me because of the apparent anti-socialness of this blogger site....

I quit

I'm going to bed

Good night cruel complicated world of blogger people









Dude this thing has spell check! That's freaking awesome!! Stupid blogger site you have redeemed yourself cuz thats just plain sweet!

First post

Well hello world of bloggers, I am new at this so bare with me. (I'm not even sure if that is how you spell that version of bare..man this is starting out rough)

For some reason as soon as I started typing I forgot everything that I had thought of to post. I hate it when that happens.

Today has been one of those days where your mind goes completely blank at the worst times. I even found myself not responding with a come back at the perfect opportunity for a good one. Hopefully this will not be the case for the rest of the day. It's only 3pm, the day is young, I've still got time to redeem myself but I must act quick!

Well somehow I seemed to have gotten 3 paragraphs out and working on 4 and I have talked about absolutely nothing. Wow good job ZuZu...Sorry blogger people I will try to get better at this. Just keep in mind I'm still a beginner.

Fare well for now, I will try to be more interesting on my next post I promise.